i gotta spider that decided to create its HOME on a pole down the street from my house. what an asshole! I go over there every single night just to see how big his stupid web has gotten. everytime im over there, the damn web is BIGGER. soooo....i like to play games with it. i take somethin small, light...and obviously not anything he would wanna EAT, and i throw it onto his web. he feels the bounce....... he runs out to check and see what kinda delicious meal hes caught, like a dumbass. and then (rude awakening) it aint SHIT. i watch him try to attack it, notice its just some trash taking up his time and space. and wouldnt you know???? somehow the little fucker gets the shit OFF HIS WEB and throws it on the ground.
one would think after this happening sooooo many times for soooo many months, he would pack his shit up and LEAVE, right? i mean, those were my hopes! but now, we're in a life long battle (or just a battle for as long as i live here) for him to get the fuck off my property, or hes gonna die.
either im a ruthless bitch for fucking with a spider for several months....or im a total loser for still doing it after all this time.
who knowssssssssssssss
Monday, November 9, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
i must be going to hell for how i act
I really love to think that the people in my life (the people who are fucking LUCKY enough to be blessed with my presence) are people that will stay forever. im damn picky about who i let in this black hole of a life. and im picky for a good reason. 1) i have a long ass roster of friends i would do anything for. i dont have much room for more!!!! 2) i have a lot of "fans" (yeah, i said it) in my little fan club. those are the people that are desperate to be a part of my life in any way, shape or form. and those desperate little fuckers make me wanna steer clear from everyone besides the ones i already hold near and dear to my icy, cold little heart. 3) im just not the kinda person who is out looking for more and more people to call "friends" even though i know deep down inside these are nothing but acquaintances... people who are hella extra baggage.
im cool.
i hate to find out that anyone i once called close, a bestie, even a FUCKING FRIEND, can burn me...cuz shit, i usually dont allow that to happen. i got a nose like a god damn drug sniffing dog, but my nose smells the fake ones, the fake ass bitches. i either cut em off quick, or use them to the best of my ability and get wtf i want out of them, before telling them to kick rocks, and THEN telling them i never really liked them the whole time, i just wanted to play games and see how far i could get em to go. i can be just as fake as the rest of them, but i know what im doing and im doing it for a reason. i have mad talents....thats one of them.
i guess i can be shady......but it must be wrong that i really dont CARE. its like a disease...............and im enjoying it. and i know my real friends (who know exactly what i do to other people) enjoy watching it too.
i play games
im cool.
i hate to find out that anyone i once called close, a bestie, even a FUCKING FRIEND, can burn me...cuz shit, i usually dont allow that to happen. i got a nose like a god damn drug sniffing dog, but my nose smells the fake ones, the fake ass bitches. i either cut em off quick, or use them to the best of my ability and get wtf i want out of them, before telling them to kick rocks, and THEN telling them i never really liked them the whole time, i just wanted to play games and see how far i could get em to go. i can be just as fake as the rest of them, but i know what im doing and im doing it for a reason. i have mad talents....thats one of them.
i guess i can be shady......but it must be wrong that i really dont CARE. its like a disease...............and im enjoying it. and i know my real friends (who know exactly what i do to other people) enjoy watching it too.
i play games
Sunday, October 4, 2009
I've tried shrooms once before. My experience was a memorable one, to say the least. I saw crazy colors, couldn't understand a thing that anybody said, and thought that I peed on myself twice that night. Which is what leads me to my next story. One night, long long ago (eh, maybe like 2 months ago) my friends and I got ahold of some shrooms. I will use our "diaper" names to protect the innocent. My name is Pampers, and my friends are Luvs and Huggies. Luvs and Huggies had never done shrooms and have only heard about my crazy experience. I warned them about everything, but also told them that I thought I pissed my pants, and made sure that they knew not to pee on my expensive furniture. Luvs is notorious for having a weak bladder. So Huggies and I (aka Pampers) decided it would be in our best interest to go to the local Longs Drugs and buy some god forsaken Depends Adult Garments... aka DIAPERS, bitch. We weren't sure that Luvs would be down to wear a diaper, but after a lot of trickery and promises of never telling a soul, we got her to strap a bitch on. Here are MY top 10 reasons why you should NOT wear an ADULT DIAPER in your MID 20's unless you are bed confined and can't get to the bathroom yourself.
10- It's fucking retarded. We didn't realize this until after they were already on our ripe little bottoms. We really thought that we had the BEST IDEA EVER (if you accidentally piss yourself, at least it's in a damn diaper, right??) and we ran with it. Now we have a secret that we can't let out, for fear of being tormented by our peers forever.
9- Diapers are uncomfortable. We know this, so trust us. I don't know how babies can wear them, but they make you fucking sweat, you get all hot... I'm surprised we didn't end the night with diaper rash.
8- They are fucking noisy! How the hell can old people sport these things in public without their spot gettin blown by all the crinkling going on in their pants??! The sounds were enough of a reminder of the DUMBEST THING WE EVER DID, let alone the vaginal sweating.
7- They ruin friendships. After we decided to take the diapers off, somebody threw one of the "used" ones into the front lawn. We got into a fat ass fight over the stray diaper because nobody wanted to pick the damn thing up. I knew I wasn't gonna pick it up, because I had no idea who's vagina it had touched. Oh well.
6- The damn diapers are so hard to put on! I had to have Huggies strap mine on, because I was too stupid to figure that shit out myself. Just know that the diapers don't come with an instruction manual, and they might out smart you... with all those sticky tabs and such.
5- You loose all respect for yourself (and others). There was one person in the house who didn't wear a diaper that night. He was the only one out of the whole bunch actually THINKING, and now he has lost all respect for the 3 of us.
4- BLACK MAIL IS A BITCH. That's all I can say.
3- You really don't pee on yourself while shroomin. At least we didn't. We wore those diapers in SHAME for like an hour, before we realized that we were STILL getting up and going to the BATHROOM like normal adults. We never peed on ourselves. We almost all wish we had pissed our pants, just to say it was worth it.
2- Now we can't stop talking about it. It's always a topic of conversation and it never gets old. We are in the process of writing poetry to express our emotions about the whole situation. Since we can't really talk about it with friends, poetry is our only outlet. And now, so is Craigslist.
1- Did I mention how STUPID we feel? Because we really do. We wore diapers, we have labeled ourselves the Diaper Trio or DT for short, and have remixed the words to GNR's Sweet Child Of Mine to Sweet Diaper Remains. We found little bits and pieces of diaper in my front lawn for days after... we call them the Diaper Crumbs or---the remains. We will never forget you, remains. RIP.
<3, Huggies, Pampers and Luvs.
10- It's fucking retarded. We didn't realize this until after they were already on our ripe little bottoms. We really thought that we had the BEST IDEA EVER (if you accidentally piss yourself, at least it's in a damn diaper, right??) and we ran with it. Now we have a secret that we can't let out, for fear of being tormented by our peers forever.
9- Diapers are uncomfortable. We know this, so trust us. I don't know how babies can wear them, but they make you fucking sweat, you get all hot... I'm surprised we didn't end the night with diaper rash.
8- They are fucking noisy! How the hell can old people sport these things in public without their spot gettin blown by all the crinkling going on in their pants??! The sounds were enough of a reminder of the DUMBEST THING WE EVER DID, let alone the vaginal sweating.
7- They ruin friendships. After we decided to take the diapers off, somebody threw one of the "used" ones into the front lawn. We got into a fat ass fight over the stray diaper because nobody wanted to pick the damn thing up. I knew I wasn't gonna pick it up, because I had no idea who's vagina it had touched. Oh well.
6- The damn diapers are so hard to put on! I had to have Huggies strap mine on, because I was too stupid to figure that shit out myself. Just know that the diapers don't come with an instruction manual, and they might out smart you... with all those sticky tabs and such.
5- You loose all respect for yourself (and others). There was one person in the house who didn't wear a diaper that night. He was the only one out of the whole bunch actually THINKING, and now he has lost all respect for the 3 of us.
4- BLACK MAIL IS A BITCH. That's all I can say.
3- You really don't pee on yourself while shroomin. At least we didn't. We wore those diapers in SHAME for like an hour, before we realized that we were STILL getting up and going to the BATHROOM like normal adults. We never peed on ourselves. We almost all wish we had pissed our pants, just to say it was worth it.
2- Now we can't stop talking about it. It's always a topic of conversation and it never gets old. We are in the process of writing poetry to express our emotions about the whole situation. Since we can't really talk about it with friends, poetry is our only outlet. And now, so is Craigslist.
1- Did I mention how STUPID we feel? Because we really do. We wore diapers, we have labeled ourselves the Diaper Trio or DT for short, and have remixed the words to GNR's Sweet Child Of Mine to Sweet Diaper Remains. We found little bits and pieces of diaper in my front lawn for days after... we call them the Diaper Crumbs or---the remains. We will never forget you, remains. RIP.
<3, Huggies, Pampers and Luvs.
So I've got some friends...
So we all have friends, right? I mean, most of us do, and if you're one of the few unlucky souls that has nobody they can call a TRUE FRIEND, then I pity the fool. Naw, JK, I don't pity you. It's not that hard to get up and start making a friend or two............. so go do it.
I like to think of my friends as...special. Anyone who knows us or has been around us for any given period of time, can tell that "something" is just not right about all of us. I strongly believe that we were all put in eachothers lives for a reason, and that reason is because normal girls that talk about hair/makeup/clothes/boys all day couldn't handle us. So the crazy bitches are all together, causing a scene wherever we go. There is a method to our madness....I promise.
We don't talk about clothes, boys, makeup, hair-none of that shit. In any given moment, you would hear MY friends talking about drugs, diapers, periods, sex (and not that love making type of stuff...), smoking, booze, murder (mostly how we would kill eachother), beating off, gang wars, and all the BS you see in US Weekly. Yeah, we are all obsessed with US weekly, which can be considered "girly", if you choose to ignore the fact that ALL MEN LOOK THRU THOSE MAGAZINES TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They just refese to admit it. whateva.
I have a friend that I call bombtwinz, and she is LOUD, obnoxious, and asian. All the 3 best things rolled into one. She gets louder and crazier when she is with ME, cuz she knows if anything was to seriously go down in public, I would protect her 97lb ass. Skinny little thing she is. Shes a mad shit talker, and gets louder and louder when more people start staring and us when we're out. Shes got a twin sister that we all call Woody, so that's double the trouble. They are terrible asian drivers (it takes both of them to changes lanes, lots of communication......), they are skinny, little loud mouth bitches who talk about sex and beating off all the time. And theyre not kidding.
So then theres another one I like to call Dezo, AKA Moons. She is the "mexican" of the group, and although she claims to be something other than mexican, we all still call her that anyway. It doesnt matter, you know? She can def be the loudest person in the group at times, screaming random things like "hammy", "DP", "westside" and all kinds of other shit...then when people decide to LOOK at us like WE'RE the crazy ones, shes the one to look right back and scream "WHAT?" to them, while the rest of us shoot dirty looks to the innocent bystanders. I mean shit, if you can't take the heat get the FUCK out of our kitchen, feel me???
Then there's a girl we call Mud Butt Mitchel, or Egg...depending on how we feel that day. Nobody really knows how she got those nicknames, but theyve stuck for years. They aint goin NO WHERE. As much as she fuckin HATES when we call her that shit (many fights have erupted from us callin her out her name), we still do it. Dezo and I both get pleasure from making her LIVID, so thats exactly what we do. Nobody really knows why she's still our friend, but we don't really care. The torment will continue until we're all hella old and nasty, dying together in the same care home.
I think everytime I log onto this site, I'll give a little more info about each one of my friends. Theres Dakota Cumalot, Diaper Queen, Blood, Trish, EBoB, Strawberry Shortcake, Jade, Hostess, Emo Snaggletooth Pube Girl, and a few more that are worth typing shit about.
After typing this shit, I realized how much I hate all my fucked up, stupid ass friends. But I know the feeling is mutual and thats all that matters. We've been through crazy shit-near death experiences, sex clubs, broken faces, accidents, hospital trips, fights, secret strippers, police incidents, drug runs, and a lot of wasted time, money and brian cells.
BUT....... I wouldn't have it any other way.
I like to think of my friends as...special. Anyone who knows us or has been around us for any given period of time, can tell that "something" is just not right about all of us. I strongly believe that we were all put in eachothers lives for a reason, and that reason is because normal girls that talk about hair/makeup/clothes/boys all day couldn't handle us. So the crazy bitches are all together, causing a scene wherever we go. There is a method to our madness....I promise.
We don't talk about clothes, boys, makeup, hair-none of that shit. In any given moment, you would hear MY friends talking about drugs, diapers, periods, sex (and not that love making type of stuff...), smoking, booze, murder (mostly how we would kill eachother), beating off, gang wars, and all the BS you see in US Weekly. Yeah, we are all obsessed with US weekly, which can be considered "girly", if you choose to ignore the fact that ALL MEN LOOK THRU THOSE MAGAZINES TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They just refese to admit it. whateva.
I have a friend that I call bombtwinz, and she is LOUD, obnoxious, and asian. All the 3 best things rolled into one. She gets louder and crazier when she is with ME, cuz she knows if anything was to seriously go down in public, I would protect her 97lb ass. Skinny little thing she is. Shes a mad shit talker, and gets louder and louder when more people start staring and us when we're out. Shes got a twin sister that we all call Woody, so that's double the trouble. They are terrible asian drivers (it takes both of them to changes lanes, lots of communication......), they are skinny, little loud mouth bitches who talk about sex and beating off all the time. And theyre not kidding.
So then theres another one I like to call Dezo, AKA Moons. She is the "mexican" of the group, and although she claims to be something other than mexican, we all still call her that anyway. It doesnt matter, you know? She can def be the loudest person in the group at times, screaming random things like "hammy", "DP", "westside" and all kinds of other shit...then when people decide to LOOK at us like WE'RE the crazy ones, shes the one to look right back and scream "WHAT?" to them, while the rest of us shoot dirty looks to the innocent bystanders. I mean shit, if you can't take the heat get the FUCK out of our kitchen, feel me???
Then there's a girl we call Mud Butt Mitchel, or Egg...depending on how we feel that day. Nobody really knows how she got those nicknames, but theyve stuck for years. They aint goin NO WHERE. As much as she fuckin HATES when we call her that shit (many fights have erupted from us callin her out her name), we still do it. Dezo and I both get pleasure from making her LIVID, so thats exactly what we do. Nobody really knows why she's still our friend, but we don't really care. The torment will continue until we're all hella old and nasty, dying together in the same care home.
I think everytime I log onto this site, I'll give a little more info about each one of my friends. Theres Dakota Cumalot, Diaper Queen, Blood, Trish, EBoB, Strawberry Shortcake, Jade, Hostess, Emo Snaggletooth Pube Girl, and a few more that are worth typing shit about.
After typing this shit, I realized how much I hate all my fucked up, stupid ass friends. But I know the feeling is mutual and thats all that matters. We've been through crazy shit-near death experiences, sex clubs, broken faces, accidents, hospital trips, fights, secret strippers, police incidents, drug runs, and a lot of wasted time, money and brian cells.
BUT....... I wouldn't have it any other way.
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